I'm back!

Hello again! Remember me? Yes, I know. It's been awhile. Well, lots has been going on.... First of all, I moved! I'm living in Greensboro, North Carolina. And as I sit here typing in my living room in the sweltering heat, I. am. loving. it. I missed warmth so much in San Francisco. Sigh... It is AMAZING what a change of weather can do for your health and sanity. Anyways, I have been here since the beginning of March and I have been given the wonderful privilege and opportunity of working from home, so now I can write more! Yay! And now that it's been a few months and I'm finally getting my act together, I am starting up my blog again and working on my book. The goal is to write at least one blog post every other week and of course work on my book every week. I'm also still writing movie reviews for Catholic World Report (my Star Trek review should be published in the next few days! Stay tuned!). I know my book deadline has come and gone, but God made it abundantly clear that I needed to get my life in order and find some happiness first. So. That's exactly what I'm doing.

Now that I have moved back to the South, I am reconnecting with my roots and some parts of me I may have lost while out in California. It's like a breath of fresh air. I am where I want/need to be, I am doing what I want to do, I am dating a great guy, and I am blessed with a job I enjoy that also happens to feed and clothe me and keep me from living in a cardboard box. Raise your hand if you're a fan of sleeping indoors! I've also been working on my health by going to see a doctor for the first time in oh... I don't know... probably 5 years or so. I joined a Zumba class. (Sidenote: for those you who don't know what Zumba is... just Youtube it. You might get a chuckle imagining me shaking my oh so non-latin hips like that.) My spiritual health is also being renewed. I'm trying to get into a better prayer schedule, doing some spiritual reading, and some adoration. I've also joined my church choir. Basically, I'm resetting. I'm trying to start over and realize who I really am and not who I thought I was or who anybody else thought I was. Maybe it's my mid-twenties crisis... heck, who knows. Whatever it is, it's happening. God's will be done.

And all of this is just to say that I'm back! Meryl Moments are back in full swing... and I plan on writing what I want, whether it's little thoughts like this, short stories, poems, or a sentence. I'm going to do it. I can't get better at anything unless I practice, right? Speaking of... I'm learning French too! So, look out world, cuz... Backstreet's back! ALRIGHT! Ahem...

The Hobbit

My review of the new film The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey!

Where sickness abounds, there is a deeper problem...

My heart broke hearing about the 20 innocent children and 6 adults massacred in Connecticut today. There is never enough to say when lives are so unjustly taken, especially so many and so young. Unfortunately, these events are not so uncommon. And why is that? Maybe, in light of these events, we should examine the modern human condition. How was such a shooter created? Why are we mortified at these events, but so few are shocked at the millions of babies massacred everyday through abortion?

We are desensitized. Most have blocked out reality and created their own world of superficiality and technological ‘joy’. We have lost our human connection. Communication is faceless and our time for others is but a moment—in a tweet or a text message. God is dead or does not exist, and therefore there is no right or wrong. Family is no longer a priority, but a burden in the crazy flux and flow of our lives.  It is no wonder then that such a monster was born from our society. Such nihilistic values have shaped us into unfeeling and lifeless creatures.

But we know in the core of our being that this is not Man’s purpose. Our purpose is to love. We must pray, certainly, for the poor souls lost today… especially for the shooter who, clearly, was in tremendous spiritual and mental turmoil. But let today also be a reminder that we are still killing hundreds, if not thousands, of children everyday to serve own selfish whims.

Twenty children were shot today, but many more were torn from their mother’s womb without having a chance to make their mark on the world. Violence is never good, whether it is in the privacy of a medical clinic or in a school—two places where humans, especially children, should feel safe. Ever since the Fall of Man, violence against the innocent has long been a horror. The Slaughtering of the Innocents in the Old Testament came quickly to mind after hearing of the terror in Connecticut. It seems that children, even those who are unborn, suffer the most from Man’s shortcomings. We should be ashamed of ourselves. We are all responsible for the sufferings of these little ones, just as we are all responsible for the death of Christ.

How sad that a man should feel compelled to kill dozens of people to make a statement. This is an extreme, but a very real example of what our disillusionment can spawn. Lack of love produces a lack of life. That is truly the root of the problem—our lackluster disposition toward faith and love, and lacking the passion about what matters in life. We have gotten so caught up in our own Dante-ish whirlwind, that we find ourselves absentmindedly tiptoeing over the dead bodies piling higher. We no longer understand Joy as something attainable—in this world we must simply accept the ugliness and try to patch it over with superficial distractions. We are a hopeless race.

This same attitude of death and hopelessness is what brought Christ to the Cross. The fallen human condition causes us to crucify and kill those things which are most beautiful and most innocent. Our pride blinds us to what we know is greater and more pure than ourselves, and out of envy, we must destroy it. But Christ has conquered sin! Now, with Him, we can accept what is beautiful and remove the real evil within ourselves. The world cannot and will not change unless we first concentrate on what is truly corrupt—our own hearts.

Sin makes us hopeless, but the Resurrection has restored our life. Let us strive then to promote a culture of life in the midst of a world so entrapped in its own culture of death. Satan, sin, and death are very real, as the events of today prove. But Christ is greater than these. The Church is greater than these. We are God’s hands and feet. Reach out to those who are hurting, spread the good news, wipe away tears, shine with the love of Christ, and root out the sin within yourself.

On the loss of brilliance

The world really has lost its sense of brilliance. All anybody does is throw insults at the other or scream about how stupid/liberal/conservative everybody is, or how God doesn't exist, or my life sucks, or fairy tales are full of it, blah blah blah blah blah blah, whine whine whine...

Why aren't there intelligent conversations about the essence of beauty? The real meaning of love? Why don't we discuss great pieces of literature... not the horrors that are known as 'literature' today (aka Twilight, Fifty Shades of Gray, etc)? Why don't we talk about the lives of great historical figures instead of the latest Jersey Shore drama? (Could someone please explain that obsession...because I really don't understand how someone with half a brain stem could watch that for five minutes without slitting their wrists.) Has the world really been degraded to this? 

I'd like to recall people back to their humanity. Put down your smartphones, iPads, laptops, pagers...whatever you kids use these days... and pick up a book! Read Tolstoy or Dickens or Lewis or Tolkien! Strike up a conversation with your coworker on the meaning of life. Start using your intelligence! Go out and watch the stars at night instead of plugging into Netflix. Write in your journal. Talk to a friend you've been meaning to catch up with. Whoa... here's a good one... pray. 

Life is short, but it is beautiful. Don't waste it. Sometimes it means taking some risks or being rejected or hated or lost... but it also means having adventures, laughing, crying, loving, eating, talking, tripping, skipping, flipping, living. I'd like to close my little rant with a quote, ""Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all."-Ten points to Gryffindor if anyone can guess where it's from! 

Megan, you can't answer... 

Broken

Love is unattainable
Unreachable and unbearable
But there is One who can reach

The One who is Love incarnate

Reaches down into the Pit
And pulls us to Himself

Through Him do we attain

Through Him are we given it
And through Him our Cross is Borne

I'm Published!!!!

Follow this noooowwwww!!!

My article on the new movie The Hunger Games!!!!

Arise! Be Not Afraid!

Yes, I am back. At least, temporarily. I just felt particularly inspired to write this evening, because I wanted to share. What is the point of great thoughts if I do not share them through writing? Do not worry my faithful readers (even though there may be only 17 of you), I am still working on my book, and I hope to have a rough manuscript submitted to a publisher on May 1 of next year. Dear God, please help me make that deadline...if not for my pride, then for my sanity.

So, at last, what I wish to share with you. Certain lessons, as most of us well know, can only come through pain and suffering. I have been fortunate enough to be blessed with a job, a home, comfort, clothing, a loving family, and the most wonderful friends I could ask for. I have not suffered as the martyrs or the people in Sudan might be suffering...but I know what pain feels like—I know the utter emptiness of heartbreak—how the pain can cripple you, make you not want to move or do anything. The pain eats at you like a cancer...but only if you let it. A wise priest told me that life is all about loss. "But it's not just about loss," he said, "It's about how you handle that loss. Do you handle that loss with grace? Or do you let it handle you?" I am afraid to admit that at some points, I have let it handle me. But then, I pick myself up, embrace my cross, and I walk on. And I find...I am stronger than before. I have NO IDEA what God is asking of me sometimes, but now I know what He is asking of me ALL THE TIME. To do everything I can to not look to myself. I cannot do everything. I cannot handle everything. I am not little Miss Invincible. I am weak. I am nothing. But when I realise this...God gives me the strength to handle whatever comes my way, even if it is pain, loss, suffering.

I do not wish to dishearten my readers. I think I am happier than I have ever been. Actually, not happy...joyful. There is a definite difference. Happiness is that great feeling I get when someone does something nice for me, or when I accomplish something...but joy...OH joy! It's that swelling of the heart that stirs my soul and makes it sore to the heights, because I have loved someone else. Things that I have found to be mundane and tedious have new meaning...I find joy in my work, because I do it for others and for God.

I may have lost something...or someone...but I have gained an infinite amount of riches. I am no longer afraid of what life has in store for me...be it happiness or pain...because I know that God is with me. It seems my heart must bleed in order for me to realise that. Go on then, let it bleed... If it stopped, it might harden into that horrible selfish person that I no longer wish to be. Perhaps this is too personal a post, but I am tired of being fearful of what others may think of me. I want to be me...passionate, crazy, joyful, wacko me. Today, I am no longer afraid. I will no longer hide my words.

Life is definitely about loss...but after we come out of the fog and into the light, we realise that what we have lost is not as important as what we have gained. So, Father (who remains anonymous), I beg to differ. Life is all about GAIN. There are of course losses, but those moments are fleeting, although they may be dark. But when the veil has lifted, and we see the risen shining Son (pun intended of course), the gain is so much greater. It's true 'no pain, no gain' (this is where I'm supposed to insert some awesome Greek relationship between the words both ending in 'ain', but uh...I can't), so look alive! Arise! Be not afraid...for I am with you until the end of the age...