I'm sure this will make a great deal of people angry, maybe even some of my Catholic friends, but I thought I'd post it anyway. I think this will also be an important read that preceeds my next post which will be on homosexuality... (I am not "hate-filled" as a previous commentor claims)...but that is for another day.
http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/document.php?n=999
This is an article by Alice von Hildebrand, whom I have tremendous respect for. I have always enjoyed her and her husband’s writing, and she always expresses herself so beautifully…I’m never left questioning what she really means. This is an article addressing Christopher West’s take on the Theology of the Body…something I’ve been struggling with for a long time, and she makes everything VERY clear. What I have been questioning in my heart, she has brought to light. I know that I am guilty of talking openly, even explicitly, regarding the Theology of the Body, but von Hildebrand reminds us that the marital act is something that should be approached with awe and veiled in mystery. It is not something to talk crudely about in a bar… Catholics too are guilty of talking in inappropriate terms about sex. As she says, “just because it’s wrapped in religious language, does not make it right.”
A couple years ago, I had the great privilege of studying with Dr Michael Waldstein, the very translator of John Paul’s Theology of the Body. He taught in precisely the way von Hildebrand says the subject should be taught. I was left in utter awe of the beauty of the sacrament of marriage, and the wonderful mystery that surrounds the human body. Our body’s speak a THEOlogy…a study of God. So, we are mysterious in our very existence as human. I have a lot of respect for what Christopher West is trying to do—reach out to young people who have been injured through pre-marital relations; but I believe von Hildebrand is right when she says he’s going about it in the wrong way.
I was talking to a co-worker of mine today, and she brought up a very crucial point. Planned Parenthood’s strategy is to bring the sexual act out into the open, and get young people talking about it…and the younger, the better. So, how is it right for US to try and do something similar? Talking about sex still gives rise to temptation, no matter how you talk about it, so it should be handled very delicately. I’m not saying we shouldn’t talk about it AT ALL, I’m simply bringing up the point, that maybe we should think before we speak, or get into one of those super-charged discussions about pre-marital sex and contraception. THERE IS a way to talk about the marital act, and Pope John Paul II expressed it, I would say, almost perfectly.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Super size me!
This is going to be a rather large post, because I haven't written in quite awhile and there are sooooo many things I want to write about. This incredibly delicious and overly long post will consist of 3 basic parts: Southern food, Ugrateful/Bratty/Undisciplined Monster Children (also known as trick-or-treaters), and You Know you're in San Francisco when..... Please bear with me and read all three. I think you'll enjoy! :)
Southern Food
A couple weekends ago, I had the pleasure of visiting my very good friend Lise who lives in Mobile, AL. Lise is awesome. Why? Because she's Canadian, Catholic, and cool. Three basic c words that define the word "awesome". But I'm deviating from the topic....FOOOOOD. Everybody loves food, and nobody likes it better than people in the South. I'm serious. I grew up in Georgia, and lived in the South most of my life, and let me tell you...those people can eat. The first thing I notice now whenever I'm in the Atlanta Airport, people are BIG! And I'm not talkin the good buff body builder big, I mean the you need to go on the Biggest Loser big... After living in California for a year and a half now, I have totally forgotten what really fat people look like, and when I went to Alabama a couple weeks ago my mind was violently jarred back to good ole Southern Reality. And I have found the reason for this horrible Fatty Fatkins epidemic...Lambert's!!
What is Lambert's you might ask? Well, allow me to enlighten your mind. It is positively the craziest, most fattening, awesome southern restaurant you have ever been to. I kid you not. Not only can you order great southern food like fried chicken, meat loaf, pot roast, fried apples, frog legs, etc. , but waiters come around with "pass arounds" all night long. These "pass arounds" include fried potatoes, macaroni and tomatoes, black eyed peas, fried okra, and so much more. And these start coming to you even before you get your food!!! Then.....oooooooh then....I haven't even told you the best part. Every few minutes, a boy comes around with a cart filled with fresh hot rolls (yum!) and....HE THROWS THEM AT YOU! I do not lie. There are flying rolls going over tables, booths, and fat people's heads all over the place! Let me just put this in perspective for you....
You're sitting at a restaurant just minding your own business, maybe talking with your friends, or contentedly eating your pass arounds while you wait for your real food (if it can be called that), and then you hear "HOT ROLLS! FRESH HOT ROLLS!" You look up. As if out of nowhere, you see a roll go flying across the room and into the awaiting hands of a fellow restraunter.... You look to see the source of the catapulting rolls, and you see him....and oh no....he sees you....and you've made eye contact. And before you can even think, there's a roll coming straight toward you, and even though you feel like a complete idiot, you go to catch it, because you'd rather it didn't hit you full in the face. And then...you're hooked. Every time the roll guy comes by, you have to yell at him and madly wave your arms so he'll chuck a roll to you. And before you know it, you're stuffed full of delicious white flour that's horribly bad for you. Then...your food finally comes. Oh no! What am I to do? I'm already full from all these amazing rolls and other fried fatty foods...what do I do with my main dish? And, instead of being smart and asking for a To Go box, you decide, "Whatever, I've already gone this far, so might as well keep going!" And you dig in with hopeless abandonment.
Now, do you understand why all these people are fat? I tell you...this restaurant is entirely to blame. Ok, maybe not entirely to blame....There are definitely some good ole Souther Moms that know how to whip up an old fashioned southern meal and a "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?" Mothers, why must you be so good to us? So, my faithful readers, let this be a warning to you....the South is awesome, but if you decide to go there, you might as well accept that you'll grow to be a blimp, or the size of a small killer whale.
Ugrateful/Bratty/Undisciplined Monster Children (also known as trick-or-treaters)
I have the happy privilege of living in the most popular neighborhood for trick-or-treaters in San Francisco. Why is it so popular? Because it's full of old rich people who actually give out candy instead of drugs, so parents feel somewhat more comfortable going there with their kids instead of the Castro district where they have drunken gay/lesbian halloween revelry. Yeah....San Francisco is great.... Did you catch that sarcasm? Anyways, let me tell you what Halloween has become....
When I was a kid, Halloween was awesome! It was a time when you got to dress up as the latest super hero, disney princess, or other awesome character that you totally wished you could be. You also got to go out with your friends (on a school night most times) and go from door to door asking for candy. How much cooler could you get? Well...for some reason, some people have this horrid idea that Halloween is a time to dress either scary as hell or as slutty as conceivably possible, get completely wasted, and run around acting like total idiots that have no souls. Sooo....I thought it would be better if I stayed at home, dressed as a hill-billy (a totally cheap, neutral, and non scary costume that does not make me look like a hooker), had some friends over to watch the world series, and give out candy to cute little kids.
Well....it was a great time, don't get me wrong. But let me tell you something....these kids were the biggest balls of snot, and I wanted to kick half of them off my porch and tell em they could get their candy somewhere else. This phenomenon of completely selfish little human beings was something I had not experienced to this magnitude before. Allow me to put this experience into perspective for you:
Your door bell rings for about the 25th time that night and you've about had enough of giving out candy, but you open your door anyway. Bad choice. There are literally 20+ kids on your porch, destroying your meticulously carved pumpkin, and kicking over your land lady's plants. Then, after you get over the initial shock and start giving out candy, these little brats notice the ginormous basket of candy behind you (there's a reason why you don't just stick the basket in front of the kids) and start stampeding into your house. Yes....true story. Soon, the little demon children are just helping themselves, and you look up to see about 50 adults who call themselves "parents" just staring at you from the bottom of the porch saying things like "Aren't they so cute?" and "Awww....this is my little darling's 3rd year trick-or-treating." They have no regard whatsoever that they've allowed their little monsters to penetrate your private place of residence and put you in a horribly foul mood.
As if that isn't bad enough, you also get the parents who still think they're hot enough to dress like whores and walk around with their pre-school age children. Really? You're Snow-White? I would have guessed your name was Bambi....or Candy. There are also parents who think that bringing their two-month-old trick-or-treating is a brilliant idea. I think that's a sad case of the parents just being too cheap to go and buy their own damn candy. Then, there are the teenagers who come to your door dressed as nothing but the bums that they are, expecting you to give them candy. I was so enraged at one point that I chucked Hershey's Kisses at their arrogant pubescent pimply faces and slammed the door. The feeling was quite euphoric.
So, my question is...where did the magic of Halloween go? Maybe it's just the city I live in....but this was probably the worst year of trick-or-treaters I have seen yet. I just did not want to witness that much of fallen human nature on one night. And the sad part is....I DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE MY HOUSE!
You Know You're in San Francisco When....
1. You realize that everyone who lives in this city is missing a piece of their brain
2. No one knows the basics of how to drive a motorized vehicle...a major one being a four-way stop.
3. You realize you're being a much more aggresive driver, because if you weren't you wouldn't get anywhere, since noone in CA knows how to drive their car.
4. No one has a real yard.
5. You see someone mowing their 2 1/2 by 5 strip of grass (they call this a yard) with a lawn mower....and all it takes is one push and they're done (not kidding...I've seen it)....and then you wonder why they don't just grab some kitchen scissors in order to groom their "lawn."
6. You can't find a parking space ANYWHERE no matter how hard you try, so you slip into despair because you know you'll be driving in circles for the next half hour until someone decides to get into their car and leave.
7. The priest at your parish decides to give a pro-gay homily that makes you want to projectile vomit across the pews.
8. The sacristan makes an announcement that the priest is late, and he wants us to "start Mass without him"....WHAAAAAT?
9. You already have plans to be out of town the weekend of the Gay pride parade....yeah, the one that's NEXT year
10. You're minding your own business walking downtown, and suddenly realize that a bunch of naked people are running a marathon right by you....but you're surprisingly not phased, because...it's San Francisco
11. You realize that when people talk about the "Tenderloin" they're not talking about a piece of delicious steak, but the most murderous part of town
12. No one smiles at you on the bus....in fact, no one even looks at you....
13. You realize after living in the city for three weeks, that you have seen little or no children, but you have seen plenty of dogs
14. Everyone who has a dog is too grossed out to actually pick up their dog's slobbery tennis ball, so they all own these dog "spoons" to get grab it out of their disease infested mouths
15. There are more dog parks than playgrounds
16. You wake up everyday and you already know what the weather is going to be like....foggy and cold
17. You walk outside in the middle of July in your heaviest winter coat
18. You wake up depressed, because you realize that you haven't seen the sun for 4 months
19. Every guy you meet is either gay or a total pothead...
20. Every girl you meet is either a lesbian or crazy nazi feminist
21. Going to the beach does not consist of swimming, because it's too dang cold
22. Every piece of produce you buy is DELICIOUS
23. Almost every restaurant is AMAZING
24. Food just tastes better and is amazingly better for you
25. Everyone jogs
26. Almost every person you see or meet is Asian
27. The bus announcements are not just in English and Spanish, but English, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, and Russian....
28. You ride the bus and not a single person speaks English...including the driver...and you wonder if you're still in America
29. Pedestrians are the bane of your existence when you're driving....and drivers are the bane of your existence when you're a pedestrian
30. You're approached by someone from Green Peace or Save the Whales at least every other day.
31. There are no laws as to what color/colors your house can be painted
32. The entire city thinks a hurricane is coming if they hear one measely peel of Thunder...and the news makes it sound like the entire city is under water
33. You learn that they are using RECYCLED cement for the "new" part of the Bay Bridge, but they have figured out that it won't be strong enough to hold all the cars during heavy traffic....awesome
34. Bridge tolls are $4-$5 on the Bay Bridge, $7 during rush hour, and the Golden Gate bridge is $6....what the b**********p?
35. Public transit is completely unreliable....so to make it better, the city made cuts on certain bus routes...yeah, that was helpful
36. The buses are token "clean energy" vehicles
37. Everyone and their mom owns a Prius
39. Gas costs you your first born child....and the second born
40. Wal-Mart and Target are illegal within city limits....really? Yes.
There's soooo much more....and I'll add more as I think of them.
Southern Food
A couple weekends ago, I had the pleasure of visiting my very good friend Lise who lives in Mobile, AL. Lise is awesome. Why? Because she's Canadian, Catholic, and cool. Three basic c words that define the word "awesome". But I'm deviating from the topic....FOOOOOD. Everybody loves food, and nobody likes it better than people in the South. I'm serious. I grew up in Georgia, and lived in the South most of my life, and let me tell you...those people can eat. The first thing I notice now whenever I'm in the Atlanta Airport, people are BIG! And I'm not talkin the good buff body builder big, I mean the you need to go on the Biggest Loser big... After living in California for a year and a half now, I have totally forgotten what really fat people look like, and when I went to Alabama a couple weeks ago my mind was violently jarred back to good ole Southern Reality. And I have found the reason for this horrible Fatty Fatkins epidemic...Lambert's!!
What is Lambert's you might ask? Well, allow me to enlighten your mind. It is positively the craziest, most fattening, awesome southern restaurant you have ever been to. I kid you not. Not only can you order great southern food like fried chicken, meat loaf, pot roast, fried apples, frog legs, etc. , but waiters come around with "pass arounds" all night long. These "pass arounds" include fried potatoes, macaroni and tomatoes, black eyed peas, fried okra, and so much more. And these start coming to you even before you get your food!!! Then.....oooooooh then....I haven't even told you the best part. Every few minutes, a boy comes around with a cart filled with fresh hot rolls (yum!) and....HE THROWS THEM AT YOU! I do not lie. There are flying rolls going over tables, booths, and fat people's heads all over the place! Let me just put this in perspective for you....
You're sitting at a restaurant just minding your own business, maybe talking with your friends, or contentedly eating your pass arounds while you wait for your real food (if it can be called that), and then you hear "HOT ROLLS! FRESH HOT ROLLS!" You look up. As if out of nowhere, you see a roll go flying across the room and into the awaiting hands of a fellow restraunter.... You look to see the source of the catapulting rolls, and you see him....and oh no....he sees you....and you've made eye contact. And before you can even think, there's a roll coming straight toward you, and even though you feel like a complete idiot, you go to catch it, because you'd rather it didn't hit you full in the face. And then...you're hooked. Every time the roll guy comes by, you have to yell at him and madly wave your arms so he'll chuck a roll to you. And before you know it, you're stuffed full of delicious white flour that's horribly bad for you. Then...your food finally comes. Oh no! What am I to do? I'm already full from all these amazing rolls and other fried fatty foods...what do I do with my main dish? And, instead of being smart and asking for a To Go box, you decide, "Whatever, I've already gone this far, so might as well keep going!" And you dig in with hopeless abandonment.
Now, do you understand why all these people are fat? I tell you...this restaurant is entirely to blame. Ok, maybe not entirely to blame....There are definitely some good ole Souther Moms that know how to whip up an old fashioned southern meal and a "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?" Mothers, why must you be so good to us? So, my faithful readers, let this be a warning to you....the South is awesome, but if you decide to go there, you might as well accept that you'll grow to be a blimp, or the size of a small killer whale.
Ugrateful/Bratty/Undisciplined Monster Children (also known as trick-or-treaters)
I have the happy privilege of living in the most popular neighborhood for trick-or-treaters in San Francisco. Why is it so popular? Because it's full of old rich people who actually give out candy instead of drugs, so parents feel somewhat more comfortable going there with their kids instead of the Castro district where they have drunken gay/lesbian halloween revelry. Yeah....San Francisco is great.... Did you catch that sarcasm? Anyways, let me tell you what Halloween has become....
When I was a kid, Halloween was awesome! It was a time when you got to dress up as the latest super hero, disney princess, or other awesome character that you totally wished you could be. You also got to go out with your friends (on a school night most times) and go from door to door asking for candy. How much cooler could you get? Well...for some reason, some people have this horrid idea that Halloween is a time to dress either scary as hell or as slutty as conceivably possible, get completely wasted, and run around acting like total idiots that have no souls. Sooo....I thought it would be better if I stayed at home, dressed as a hill-billy (a totally cheap, neutral, and non scary costume that does not make me look like a hooker), had some friends over to watch the world series, and give out candy to cute little kids.
Well....it was a great time, don't get me wrong. But let me tell you something....these kids were the biggest balls of snot, and I wanted to kick half of them off my porch and tell em they could get their candy somewhere else. This phenomenon of completely selfish little human beings was something I had not experienced to this magnitude before. Allow me to put this experience into perspective for you:
Your door bell rings for about the 25th time that night and you've about had enough of giving out candy, but you open your door anyway. Bad choice. There are literally 20+ kids on your porch, destroying your meticulously carved pumpkin, and kicking over your land lady's plants. Then, after you get over the initial shock and start giving out candy, these little brats notice the ginormous basket of candy behind you (there's a reason why you don't just stick the basket in front of the kids) and start stampeding into your house. Yes....true story. Soon, the little demon children are just helping themselves, and you look up to see about 50 adults who call themselves "parents" just staring at you from the bottom of the porch saying things like "Aren't they so cute?" and "Awww....this is my little darling's 3rd year trick-or-treating." They have no regard whatsoever that they've allowed their little monsters to penetrate your private place of residence and put you in a horribly foul mood.
As if that isn't bad enough, you also get the parents who still think they're hot enough to dress like whores and walk around with their pre-school age children. Really? You're Snow-White? I would have guessed your name was Bambi....or Candy. There are also parents who think that bringing their two-month-old trick-or-treating is a brilliant idea. I think that's a sad case of the parents just being too cheap to go and buy their own damn candy. Then, there are the teenagers who come to your door dressed as nothing but the bums that they are, expecting you to give them candy. I was so enraged at one point that I chucked Hershey's Kisses at their arrogant pubescent pimply faces and slammed the door. The feeling was quite euphoric.
So, my question is...where did the magic of Halloween go? Maybe it's just the city I live in....but this was probably the worst year of trick-or-treaters I have seen yet. I just did not want to witness that much of fallen human nature on one night. And the sad part is....I DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE MY HOUSE!
You Know You're in San Francisco When....
1. You realize that everyone who lives in this city is missing a piece of their brain
2. No one knows the basics of how to drive a motorized vehicle...a major one being a four-way stop.
3. You realize you're being a much more aggresive driver, because if you weren't you wouldn't get anywhere, since noone in CA knows how to drive their car.
4. No one has a real yard.
5. You see someone mowing their 2 1/2 by 5 strip of grass (they call this a yard) with a lawn mower....and all it takes is one push and they're done (not kidding...I've seen it)....and then you wonder why they don't just grab some kitchen scissors in order to groom their "lawn."
6. You can't find a parking space ANYWHERE no matter how hard you try, so you slip into despair because you know you'll be driving in circles for the next half hour until someone decides to get into their car and leave.
7. The priest at your parish decides to give a pro-gay homily that makes you want to projectile vomit across the pews.
8. The sacristan makes an announcement that the priest is late, and he wants us to "start Mass without him"....WHAAAAAT?
9. You already have plans to be out of town the weekend of the Gay pride parade....yeah, the one that's NEXT year
10. You're minding your own business walking downtown, and suddenly realize that a bunch of naked people are running a marathon right by you....but you're surprisingly not phased, because...it's San Francisco
11. You realize that when people talk about the "Tenderloin" they're not talking about a piece of delicious steak, but the most murderous part of town
12. No one smiles at you on the bus....in fact, no one even looks at you....
13. You realize after living in the city for three weeks, that you have seen little or no children, but you have seen plenty of dogs
14. Everyone who has a dog is too grossed out to actually pick up their dog's slobbery tennis ball, so they all own these dog "spoons" to get grab it out of their disease infested mouths
15. There are more dog parks than playgrounds
16. You wake up everyday and you already know what the weather is going to be like....foggy and cold
17. You walk outside in the middle of July in your heaviest winter coat
18. You wake up depressed, because you realize that you haven't seen the sun for 4 months
19. Every guy you meet is either gay or a total pothead...
20. Every girl you meet is either a lesbian or crazy nazi feminist
21. Going to the beach does not consist of swimming, because it's too dang cold
22. Every piece of produce you buy is DELICIOUS
23. Almost every restaurant is AMAZING
24. Food just tastes better and is amazingly better for you
25. Everyone jogs
26. Almost every person you see or meet is Asian
27. The bus announcements are not just in English and Spanish, but English, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, and Russian....
28. You ride the bus and not a single person speaks English...including the driver...and you wonder if you're still in America
29. Pedestrians are the bane of your existence when you're driving....and drivers are the bane of your existence when you're a pedestrian
30. You're approached by someone from Green Peace or Save the Whales at least every other day.
31. There are no laws as to what color/colors your house can be painted
32. The entire city thinks a hurricane is coming if they hear one measely peel of Thunder...and the news makes it sound like the entire city is under water
33. You learn that they are using RECYCLED cement for the "new" part of the Bay Bridge, but they have figured out that it won't be strong enough to hold all the cars during heavy traffic....awesome
34. Bridge tolls are $4-$5 on the Bay Bridge, $7 during rush hour, and the Golden Gate bridge is $6....what the b**********p?
35. Public transit is completely unreliable....so to make it better, the city made cuts on certain bus routes...yeah, that was helpful
36. The buses are token "clean energy" vehicles
37. Everyone and their mom owns a Prius
39. Gas costs you your first born child....and the second born
40. Wal-Mart and Target are illegal within city limits....really? Yes.
There's soooo much more....and I'll add more as I think of them.
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