"Go to Your Room!!!"

For the past few days, I have had the great privilege of playing the role of "Mom" to my three younger siblings, while my parents enjoy five days on a "business" cruise...Of course I have babysat before, but this particular experience has made me rethink the phrase "Go to your room!" When one is still a child, the phrase can have several different meanings. I will number them from least severe to the worst punishment of your young life:

1. You really need to sit on your bed and think about what you just did/said. (What actually happens: The child closes their door sulkily, proceeds to find a book or a toy to play with whilst sitting on said bed, and never actually "thinks" about what they did. In fact, by the time the parent or parental figure arrives to "talk about it", the child has completely forgotten why they were sent there in the first place, and the book/toy is now safely hidden.)

2. Sitting on your bed doing absolutely nothing will render you so miserable that you will never want to do what you just did/said again, and you will be completely repentant. (What actually happens: The scenario from number one is repeated, or the child broods about it for several minutes and is most definitely NOT repentant by the time the parent shows up.)

3. Going to your room and waiting for the parental figure to show up should scare you out of your mind, because you KNOW that you are in big trouble now. [This is the normal meaning for older children.] (What actually happens: Yes, the child is probably scared, because he/she knows they will get a shouting of a lifetime, and maybe some privileges taken away. However, the fear is not half so meaningful as the pride of actually having talked back to the parent and know that the future missing privileges will soon be restored.)

4. This is the ultimate punishment of your life and there is absolutely nothing you can do or say about it. [This is the traditional meaning for most teens.](What actually happens: The teen whose life is now "ruined" must endure the time it takes for the parent to show up and "ruin" their life some more. Most likely, the car, license, or that incredibly awesome party you were supposed to go to will be taken away. It sucks when you're old enough to drive...bigger things can be taken away. Therefore, the teen will most likely have such thoughts as "I can't wait to get out of here," "My parents don't know anything/don't understand me/can't possibly know what I'm going through," or something similar to these.

Now that we have these four basic definitions, I would like to argue that all of these are entirely FALSE! Although, what actually happens DOES happen, but the definitions themselves are misinterpreted by young selfish ears. I realized today when I screamed at my brother, "GO TO YOUR ROOM!" that I didn't mean any of those things I have just listed. In fact, what I meant was: "You are so frustrating that you need to leave before I do something physically violent!" So, I have come to the conclusion that my parents never hated me, misunderstood me, or just wanted to torture me. They were protecting me from themselves. So, kids, when you hear "Go to your room!" don't ask questions or talk back, just do it. Your life may depend on it.